When I got married, I never thought that I'd have trouble conceiving. But here we are, 3 years later and still no baby in sight. I don't know how I should feel about that. Sometimes, I think it's okay. I get to go out anytime I want, I can travel anywhere without having to worry about someone else whose life is totally dependent upon me (at least, when he/she is still a baby). I don't have many financial worries because it's just me and the hubby. And people do say that you can't miss what you've never had. However, I don't think it works quite that way. When I see pregnant woman or women with new born babies, I always feel a touch of envy. I would love to have a baby, why can't I have one? I can't say that I'm born to be a mother (some woman maybe, but not me) and I know that if I am lucky enough to have a baby one day, it's going to be one learning curve after another. But, I know that having a baby would change my life in ways that I cannot imagine right now and I know that all the change would be for the better. My hubby says he doesn't mind not having a baby or a child since we can travel to our heart's content with nary a care in the world, but, I'm afraid that one day, when all the travelling and the carefree lifestyle is done, he'll regret that we never had children. I am still hoping that in the next few years we will be blessed. In the meantime, I will try to enjoy everything life throws at me because life is too short to be anything but happy.
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