My hubby and I are celebrating our third wedding anniversary today (12/12- so hubby won't forget! hahaha). So, I thought that this would be the perfect time to be philosophical and wax poetic about love and fairy tale lives. NOT! I don't have the fairy tale life. I have the life with the ups and downs and everything else in between. Contrary to what I read in books, married life is NOT pure bliss. There are times when hubby and I fight over the big things but most often than not, it's the small things that we struggle against. My hubby is a very responsible person and well, I'm not! I'm more the happy go lucky type (maybe not a good thing all the time). I guess it's because there are a lot of things in my life that I have to worry about that sometimes I let other things slide just so I don't have to think about them anymore. For me, marriage is the beginning of a new life with someone always at your side. Most of the time, it can be fun, warm and exciting. There are days when we wake up cuddled against each other happily recounting good or bad or plainly weird dreams and that's one of the best perks of marriage. It's also nice to be able to say, "I belong with someone" (not that I lose my identity or anything like that, but it's still nice to feel a sense of belonging, a sense of home.) Yup, marriage can be very, very blissful most of the time. However, there are, of course, days when we don't wake up cuddling and we're just in a hurry to get the day started and to get other things done. We feel rushed but the feeling of intimacy can still remain if we remember to give each other a big smile. That said, there are moments when we fight at the top of our lungs or don't speak at all (after all, the silent treatment is the most effective way to show anger, at least for me) I don't think that fighting drives couples apart, I think it's more the unwillingness to listen to each other. I know couples who don't fight at all and sometimes I do envy them but I guess that won't work for us because we are the type of couple that need to vent or show the other exactly how we feel. After being married for three years, I have learned that sometimes it's just best to keep my mouth shut when hubby is angry or mad about something and I think he has learned to do that for me also. Another thing that I have learned is that sometimes, it's okay to go to bed angry with each other. It doesn't mean that the lines of communications are close but rather, we are able to give each other the time and space to think things through without being overly emotional about everything. It prevents us from saying things that we can never take back. I find that when we do that, we are able to step back from ourselves and see things while standing in the shoes of the other person. It makes it easier to communicate and be apologetic the next day. Marriage, my dear friends, is truly a bed of roses complete with thorns. But that's okay, I mean, how exciting can life be without a few thorns along the way?
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